Being Calm

So Jeff is up with his mom and holy crap is it quiet. I am not hearing the X Box shouting "you have captured the flag. The enemy has our flag" So now I am sitting here wondering who the hell has the flag? What are these Nazi Zombies going to do without Jeff kicking there butts. Well at least that is what he tells me he is doing. So what am I doing?? I am watching "So You Think You Can Dance" wishing I could dance like these hip hop dancers. Seriously I want to dance like these guys.

I have to be honest I don't know how to just sit and do nothing. It is so hard for me. I get so bored. I wish I knew how to be calm, I really stink at it. My brain just doesn't turn off, it is always going. I am sure it because I am a mom, a wife, a pet owner, a home owner and I work and I am gone from the house 10 hours a day. I feel like this is a pretty common feeling with a lot of people who work out of the house. I just get super tired of all the noise that is going on. You know those relaxation CD's that teach you how to relax? Well I have one of those and by the time I get to the 15 line my mind is anywhere but the CD. So annoying!!! Now Dan on the other hand, the second line into the CD, he is O-U-T!!!! If only....

So here is the deal, I love sitting here on the couch, watching TV, and just enjoying my show. This is probably the most calm I have been in a long time. Is my house messy? YUP! Do I need to do laundry? YUP! Do I need to do dishes? YUP! Now do I care tonight? NOPE!!!! So apparently watching people dance listening to nothing but the TV makes me calm. Who knew????

Explaining a Couple of Things

So the title of this blog is Shoes and Other Addictions. So I thought I should explain the title a bit more. I have more addictions then shoes and most of them are materialistic, yes I am fine with admitting that. But, addiction is a huge piece of me and my life. What I am about to say is something I have hid from people and have been embarrassed about, but it is something I really don't want to hide anymore. It is something that will probably shock some but what I have learned from it and am continuing to learn from it is something I feel is worth sharing. So here it goes; I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic.

Wow, there it is in black and white. Scarey!!

What I can tell you right now is 2010 was the worst year of my life. I never want to experience what I did last year, the heartache, the worry, the fear, the loss and the anger is something I don't wish on anyone. I honestly believed that last year was never going to end, but it did and what I have taken away from 2010 has made me a better, stronger, more confident person. I would change a lot of things about last year, but what I have gained has made me a who I am today. For that I am thankful, and continue to be so every day.

As I said I am a wife of a recovering alcoholic, as of today Dan has been sober for 277 days. Each one of these days has been a blessing and I am so proud of him!! We have a lot more work to do but we have come so far.

So this blog is going to be a little bit of everything, lighthearted, funny, sad, mad and everything in between.

Here is the thing.....

I really do love shoes. I don't know where it started, but I think I really started to love shoes about 6 years ago. See, I had gastric bypass surgery, I loved high heel shoes but my body just did not like them. I would ruin so many shoes because the heel of the shoes would come loose because my body was just to big to support the heel. It devastated me, I mean honestly why couldn't they just make a heel to support me, or the big question why could I just not lose the weight? So after a lot of soul searching and an awful appointment with a doctor, I made the decision to have the surgery. It is honestly one of the best things I did. I ended up losing 130 pounds and rediscovered so many things. I guess one of the things I rediscovered, much to my husbands dismay, is shoes. They finally started to fit correctly again and I could keep them for more than a season!!!!! I was extremely excited. And so I think that is where my addiction began. But I also think over the last 2 years is where the love really began to grow. Some people go to museums and look at sculptures and paintings, I go to a shoe department and see art all around me. The colors, the shape, the texture and how each one is so unique. I know, I know they have different sizes but oh when I find MY pair, it is truly indescribable. (If you could see the look on my face now) This isn't a blog about fashion, don't get me wrong I love fashion, but this is a blog about me and my life. I just need an outlet and I love to write and share things and to be honest I love being the center of attention. So, her goes nothing!